Don’t Forget To Blame Yourself!

by Andrew Jeffreys

When I decided to do some research into the definition of responsibility I ran across Wikipedia and found this line.  “”Responsibility Assumption” a doctrine in the personal growth field holding that each individual has substantial or total responsibility for the events and circumstances that befall them in their life.””  It then dawned on me that if everyone believed this, we would live in an enlightened world.  There are few things in this life that we cannot take responsibility for.   Regardless of what happens, where and when it happened, who did it,  the best question is always why?  It also leads us inevitably back to our own behavior.  Why is the question that goes deepest.  Once you answer the first why you realize there are more whys behind it.  Why was I abused?  It was not my fault, I cannot control others.  The first why led me to a important lesson to learn.  I take no responsibility for others, but why did I pick this person to be with?  Their insecurity was attractive to me.  Why?  My insecurity!  When we constantly ask ourselves why, we can get to the things that improve us individually.  Once we take responsibility for our own improvement their truly is nothing we cannot do.  Imagine if politicians adopted this assumption.  Dare I hope maybe big corporations make this their mission statements?  Can we teach this to our prisoners in their current environment? If not, why?

For so long I tried to blame the establishment.  This article was originally a diatribe on how low America has sunk.  Truth is I have allowed this to happen.  I have not done enough to voice my opinion.  It is easy to blame government, big business, George W. Bush and Al Qaeda.  However the responsibility assumption shows I simply have not done enough and this is my fault.

The other day someone was talking about Obama.  When I asked them “why they did not like Obama?” and “why they voted for Mcain?”, they had no answer, save one.  “It is just how I feel.”  Well I have learned that I cannot change people, so no need for emotion there.  Why did I even engage the conversation further?  Second leads me to take responsibility for myself.  I knew they could not give an intelligent answer.  My ego and need to have reasoning in my life led me to ask.  Time to get the ego in check.  My fault again.  Seems to work in just about any situation and ultimately leads me to improve myself and be much less emotional and much more of a positive force, constantly conquering my own deficiencies.  Would Abraham Maslow allow me to enter the top of his pyramid for hierarchy of needs?   Why?

We lead by example and precept.  Walt Wittman stated that “..there is no reward in this lifetime for a rightous life lived!”  Strive for an awakening, search for enlightenment, do what you can to improve yourself and always ask, why?.  Imagine a large group of individuals with this in mind working together.  Let’s turn the 1% into 2%.  That’s a fair goal for the next election, is it not?  Doesn’t self ownership imply the responsibility assumption.  Where are the truly brave, the individuals who “take the road less traveled” as Robert Frost penned.  It is my life and my fight for liberty, and the one true path to the pursuit of happiness. Stand up with me and grow through the question “Have I forgot to blame Myself?”  Or sit and do nothing, but just stop complaining!

Andy Jeffreys

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0 Responses to Don’t Forget To Blame Yourself!

  1. Jessica Pacholski December 2, 2008 at 6:47 pm #

    I agree with you, I have to stop sometimes and ask myself how I contributed to my problem.

  2. Rich Carey December 6, 2008 at 9:20 am #

    Yes.. good article identifying one of the greatest problems we have in this nation – a complete lack of understanding about the need for everyone to step up to the plate and do something about the mess we’re in. We have developed a culture of entitlement and escapism where proper boundaries in life are muddy or nonexistent.

    If you’ve never read it, I highly recommend the book “Boundaries” by Cloud and Townsend. This study has helped me tremendously in business and personal life by identifying what is my stuff to deal with and what it not, and to set up healthy boundaries of responsibility in my life and teach others around me how to do the same.

    You can get it here:


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